Sexist equality

Traditionally, men were portrayed as people who affect their surroundings and make their own choices. Women were portrayed as people who lean more toward just going along with things. This double standard has been transferred over to the way society evaluates issues of gender equality. 

For example, the issue of men having shorter life spans. The common response is to blame men. “They are abusing their own health.” The responder doesn’t speculate on how much protection men are given to prevent their deaths, whether the culture channels men into the more dangerous jobs, or even whether men are taught their bodies are not worth caring for.

This is very unfortunate because males are no less socialized than females. They are not even made aware of how gender-based issues hurt them. And efforts to teach them are usually attacked. Yet none of this seems to matter. Men are expected to transform themselves and mitigate all the pressures that surround them. And this expectation is no different from traditional sexism.

So what I often see is traditional double standards used to define liberation. And this gets us nowhere. It shuts down discussion. It kills compassion. It harms men.

Sex, alcohol, and consent

Two college students are at a party. Both are drinking alcohol. They start flirting. Then they start kissing. And they end up having sex in which both willingly participate.

In this situation, both had diminished capacity and both consented. So how do we decide whether a sex infraction was committed. It's simple. They just blame the male. The fact that he is in the same situation as the female doesn't matter. He will be accused of a sexual infraction. She will not.

This is clearly sexist. And it's also very traditional sexism. With traditional sexism, the man was supposed to take control of important decisions that affect both. And along with this he got the credit or the blame, depending on how things worked out. But if he didn't take charge, then he was held accountable for not acting as guardian for the decisions of both. That's what is happening here.

What's interesting today is this kind of double-standard is being promoted as equality, even though it actually promotes sexism. It promotes the idea that women are inferior to men at making decisions under the same challenging circumstances. It makes men responsible for women's choices. This is not equality.